I was affraid of myself

He wanted to explore the topic of forgiveness with the inmates and organized a group listening session at the prison. He also invited Ridina to the discussion that followed. Thanks to this meeting and discussion, a new documentary titled I Was Afraid of Myself was created. 

One of the convicted students—a woman who chose the pseudonym Marie for her public communications—wished to share her story publicly. Ridina visited her in prison repeatedly over the course of several months.

The documentary explores the process of coming to terms with one’s own deep sense of guilt. A key element in the film is the lie that we sometimes need to tell even ourselves.

Ridina Ahmedová’s documentary was created in close collaboration with dramaturge and creative producer Veronika Ruppert (Odpustit?, Sádlo). Sound design and mixing were handled by Jaroslav Pokorný. Given the circumstances of its creation, we published the work as a bonus to the already concluded series Odpustit? (mujRozhlas.cz, Český rozhlas Plus).

It was very important to us to protect the respondent and the people around her from stigmatization, victimization, and retraumatization. We would like to thank Jana Pokorná for her consultation on psychology and mental health; Lucie Čejková and Jan Motal for their expert advice on media ethics; Zuzana Tomešová for her legal support; and Martina Pouchlá for her editorial consultation.

This program contains content related to a serious crime in which a child was the victim. If this is a sensitive topic for you, please consider whether you should listen.

We will be presenting the project at Prix Bohemia Radio

When: Monday, October 19, 2026 | 10:30 a.m. – 6:30 p.m.
Where: UP Arts Center, Theater Hall – 3rd floor
Entrance: Free admission with accreditation

Download the documentary's script directly to your cell phone: